Lessons from a Teenage Mother
by aliciabobeesha
Summary: The sequel to The Secret Life of a Canadian Teenager, finally complete!
1. Lesson one

When you become a parent they don't tell you it's going to be hard, I suppose that's some sort of unspoken rule. I didn't ask to be a fully mature adult by 17, but shit happens I guess. But I suppose I'm learning more from Violette than she is from me.

**Lesson one: everyday you're a parent is a struggle.**

Sometimes I do believe that I'm going to run clear across the Canadian boarder into America and not look back. It started out as a joke that Jonesy made, and I fancied it, I even took a map and highlighted the route. Jonesy found it and didn't think it was very funny, and that's where the joke ended. I run, it's what I do. I started running the day I found out I was pregnant and haven't stopped since, only after Violette was born I got constructive about it and started running physically to escape what I felt emotionally. It started with me gasping for breath halfway around the block with my hands on my knees, doubled over and panting, but now has progressed to at least three miles a day, most days five. Emma bought me a jogger stroller, and although I prefer to jog alone, I did and sometimes still do take Violette with me a lot of the time, mostly to prove to Jonesy that I'm not still crazy. Post partum depression was a rough go, I needed zoloft to even me out. Looking back, I'm surprised Jonesy stayed. I mean, I love him but fuck does it take a lot to raise a family. I did move back in with my mom once, after a stupid fight. Those raging hormones, you gotta love em. This was when Violette was nine weeks old and poor Jonesy wanted to go watch a Leaf's game with Jude and I snapped. School had just started back up and he was already playing hockey for the team and he wanted one Sunday night to himself and I went apeshit crazy on him. He stormed out, saying something about how I'm a bitch and I don't do shit, so I called my mom screaming when he left, packed my favorite things, ripped up a couple of pictures of us because I was very mature about it, and left with Violette. Good thing the only people home were Robbie and Diego, but at the time I'm pretty sure the whole family could have been on the front lawn and I still would have left. Later that night Jonesy dove over mad as hell saying I had no right to take Violette and we got into it. I beat Jonesy, that's no lie and most of the time he deserves it, but that night all I could do was scream at the top of my lungs. I wonder what my parents thought. He screamed back and then Violette started screaming, and then it turned into a free for all. An hour later I was back at his house, we were both exhausted.

But I digress. It's now almost February 2011, Violette is 18 months and I'm set to get married in six months. God help me I don't want to, and chances are I wont, but time is ticking. I'm almost 19, I have a daughter and I live with Jonesy, isn't that enough? I decided against Banting and got a full ride scholarship into University of Toronto. I didn't want to be too far from Emma after all she did for us when we were seniors in high school. My parents got us a two bedroom apartment close to the Galleria, which was good since I still wok at the Tacky Barn. But back to the marriage ordeal. July 21st is D-day, and marriage wont change anything but my last name. Jonesy doesn't have shit, and he expects my parents to pay thousands of dollars for a glorified piece of paper that says I'm a Garcia and if he dies I get his life savings? I don't want his last name and he doesn't have a life savings. And yeah, I know I should speak up now or else I'll get an awkward epilouge when I'm weaing my Reeboks at the wedding running away screaming "I'm not ready!" and embarrassing the shit out of Jonesy. He has a fragile ego. But the thought of speaking up and risking him telling me that he's not ready either scares me just as much as marrying him. Jonesy stays at home playing 'Mr. Mom' and Violette is a tried and true daddy's girl. Daddy was her first word, this was right before we moved out of his parents house. We were in her room packing and she stood up, pointed at Jonesy and said 'daddy.' He actually teared up. Now shes an 18 month old brat who can say 'Yes, No, I want, Mine, Look, Stop, and GIVE ME.' The last is usually aimed towards me, since Jonesy gives her anything she wants. She can say a few other things like 'this, that, up, me, cookie, bye, ball, car and of course Mama.' She inherited the Garcia puppy dog eyes and pout, which automatically makes her a naughty girl. The look suckers me too, but I have the self control to not look. Juggling a family, work and college isn't so hard, but a family, work and high school was a mess. I have to admit I really was lucky that I had a "good team" as Mr. Mathews said once upon a time. Without Jonesy, and more importantly Emma, I would have really lost it, and all the zoloft in the world probably wouldn't have helped.

And here I am, still running. It's what I do.


	2. Lesson two

**Lesson 2: You would think a baby would make a relationship stronger, but it's so much stress that it can try a strong relationship and break a weak one.**

Today after my run I soaked in the bath while Jonesy was at his hockey league practice and Violette was asleep. Time is a funny thing, it numbs the feeling of some things. Now I'm soaking here wondering what was really so hard about my senior year, besides the lack of sleep. But in those reguards I guess I was lucky too, Emma put Violette on a schedule for me and Jonesy followed it when I was at work and I followed it when he was at his hockey practice or games. We put her down to sleep at 8 pm and 'dream fed' her every three hours until she woke up when I went to school and Emma took over. I still maintained a 4.0, and I had one hell of a validictoian speach, all the papers published it. Emma was my saving grace though, without her I'm sure I would have made a break for the American boarder, probably wouldn't have stopped until I reached Mexico either. What was it Forrest Gump said about running? I think it was 'Mama says they was magic shoes. They could take me anywhere.' That sounds about right. I think what I hated about senior year was that Jonesy was right. Something he said when I was pregnant, that he read all those books and would know what to do and I would have no clue. And it's true, to this day I still feel like I have no clue, but I pretend and I don't think Jonesy notices. I suppose it was so miserable on me because Jonesy was so proud and always bragging and he had pictures of her in his wallet that he would show everyone, and I resented him for it. Like I said, looking back, I'm surprised I'm still with him. Or rather, I'm surprised he's still with me. There was awhile there I was positive he was cheating on me, but it passed and if he was I don't want to know. After his weekend games he would be gone until 2 or 3 am and drunk as a skunk when he came home. I know they have little groupies that hang out with them after games, but at the time I was too tired and busy to care. He stopped his womanizing ways and that was good enough for me. Then again, he didn't need to be a flirt anymore, he had Violette, which was like a secret weapon. Girls flocked to him, which is why he insisted on taking her everywhere he went. We were in a rut and I didn't mind it, one time even...

we were at the mall together, a rare occasion at that time to be seen in the same room together, for almost three months we avoided talking because we both feared the inevitable 'we need to talk' statement, and nothing ever good comes from that conversation, ask Wyatt. Anyway, that day we were shopping for Violette's Christening gown and he said:

"Dude, go look somewhere else you're cramping my style." But I wasn't stupid I knew he meant I was making it harder for girls to mack on him.

I simply said "Jonesy I'm here for our daughter. If you want, after we're done you can come back if you want. In fact, please do." You should have seen the look on his face, it was like I told him his dog died. After we were done we left and he didn't go back.

In our 'rut' I remember the first big argument we had, the one that lead to our three month 'hiatus,' if you could call it that, since we weren't ever officially broken up or on a break.

"I don't fucking get you, Nikki! I'm being the nicest fucking guy I can be to you, I give you all of my love and you treat me like shit." He was hurting, I could see it, but I couldn't be nice. I don't know why, maybe I just didn't feel it was fair.

"Nicest fucking guy Jonesy? You're never around me! If that's you being nice then maybe I don't need you! You weren't even there for me when I was humiliated by Blade! Darth was!" I was wrong to say that but I was mad.

"Wow I kicked Blade's ass for that! But whatever if you're going to hold it against me then maybe we don't need each other." He stormed off, and from then on he slept in Diego's room.

And now that we delved deeper, I guess the essence of why I was so bitter is because he was a ghost the whole time I was in school, with his hockey team and whatever else he passed off as time to not be around me. Once I started school I had to stop breast feeding because I couldn't keep up my supply and I couldn't pump enough when I was at home and I definitely couldn't pump at school. My boobs went up two sizes for a while because I was so engorged, and I guess I wasn't the only one to notice. One day I got tripped after school on the way to Jonesy's car.

I looked up at Cristo and he was laughing, then someone came up behind me and threw me against a locker. I looked up, and it was Blade.

"You're a sexy little slut aren't you?" he laughed, and bit my shoulder. I tried to fight him but I couldn't. Cristo looked on and laughed. "Don't struggle darling, watching you waddle last year was the sexiest thing I've ever seen and I haven't been able to get your sexy ass out of my mind since." He forced his lips on mine, and I bit them. "You bitch!" he yelled, and Wyatt came up behind him and threw him off, and Darth came running up to punch him in the face. It would have been quite comical if I was an impartial observer, seeing such a tiny man punch such a big dude like that. Blade and Cristo stormed off, with Blade telling me he was going to keep an eye on me.

I told Jonesy and Jonesy kicked Blade's ass the next day and I never had any problems with Cristo or Blade after that. I didn't watch the fight but I heard Jonesy sucker punched him while he was alone and kept saying things like 'Don't you ever talk to my girl again' and 'She just had my daughter you fucking freak.' It was kind of sexy.

I don't mean to complain, it wasn't always like that, there were times that we had a lot of fun together, and now we don't even like to talk about those days, we're so beyond them that we can even laugh about it now. I do love Jonesy, and I don't ever see myself leaving him, but things just got so complicated for awhile, which I guess is what my mom was trying to tell me. But honestly, as complicated as things are and as much of a spoiled brat Violette is, if I could go back and not get pregnant I wouldn't trade it in for the world. And I suppose that is the essence of motherhood, being completely miserable with responsibilites and loving every minute of it.


	3. Lesson three

**Lesson three: If you're taking your child anywhere you need a game plan or else she'll be a screaming mess and you'll be defenseless.**

T minus five months until the wedding I dropped the bomb on Jonesy. I started by telling him that I kissed Stone on the lips, which I did, granted there was no tongue involved but it didn't make me feel much better. It was a couple months ago, Violette was 15 months and just stating to talk, she could sceam 'NO!' and 'GIMME' and a few other bratty things. We were in the Galleria where I was trying to buy her a new pair of shoes and she would not get in the stroller and laid down on the middle of the dirty mall floor throwing a tantum. I was fed up and yanked her up by the arm, ready to march on out of there and tell Jonesy that she's his daughter now he can take her shopping. But before I could march her butt out of there, Stone came up behind me.

"Nikki! Hey! Long time no see! I see your daughter is growing nicely, how old is she?"

I turned around, stunned, and Violette hid behind my legs. "Thanks, she's 15 months now. Being a brat and driving me crazy."

"She's cute, I see a lot of you in her" he smiled, although I'm sure he was lying. She looks nothing like me, she looks like a mix of Jonesy and my great aunt Lilly.

"Thanks. She's a brat." I laughed, and tried to get her out from behind my legs.

"Another thing she got from you" he laughed and knelt down to her "Hey pretty girl! Whats your name?" she burried her head in my legs and he stood up.

"It's Violette." I stated "We came here to get shoes but I think she wants to go to the Tacky Barn. She keeps trying to lead me somewhere and point up. I don't know about this kid sometimes, she's a trip" I picked her up and kissed her. She really is a beauty, with her pink leggings and white shirt with pink flowers. Her hair was in perfect pigtails. She looked at Stone and blushed, hiding her face in my shoulder. "Well I guess I should go get what I came for." I turned to Violette "Are you going to be a good girl and let mommy put you in the stroller?" I asked her, but she just smiled at me. I turned back to Stone "Okay well I have to go."

"Okay" he smiled at me, and hugged me. I leaned my head up to say something and he kissed me on the lips, and I absently kissed him back, then pushed him away when I realized what was going on.

"Um yeah..." I blushed and put Violette in her stroller and waved at him, walking off. I went to the Tacky Barn and bought her two pair of shoes, and my little brat got out of her stroller, walked around with her hand on her hip pointing and saying 'GIMME' to anything pink. Chrissy thought it was the cutest thing, and bought her a pink sweater with a purple flower. I hate the Crappy Barn, but Violette loves it, probably because I work there, and I was feeling so guilty that I took her anyway.

Back to the present, once I told Jonesy he looked hurt at first, then he looked almost relieved. "So thats what this is about? You've been acting strange the last two months, I thought maybe you were hiding something huge. So what if you kissed Stone on the lips once? It didn't mean anything, did it?"

"No, not at all. But that's not all Jonesy. I... I'm not ready to get married. Not yet." Now this took Jonesy back. He gave me his look usually reserved for when Violette does something blatantly naughty, like getting into the panty and spilling all the flour.

"Okay." He said cooly, and nodded his head, as in deep thought "Okay I knew this, I knew from the day I proposed you weren't ready. It's okay, no damage done, we'll just postpone everything, and call everyone we sent invites too. It's okay." He still nodded, ingesting this info.

"Thats it?" I almost yelled. Like I said, I wasn't sure what was worse, getting married or finding out Jonesy wasn't ready either. And although he didn't say he wasn't ready, not getting angry at me for not being ready was almost as bad.

"Well yeah... marriage is a big deal, and if you aren't ready I can't force you." When the fuck did Jonesy get so mature? I nodded at him, the will to fight suddenly drained out of me.

"Yeah..." I pondered this, and then developed a headache. "I'm going to pop advil and lie down, my back hurts." I lied, and he grabbed my wrist as I walked away.

"I love you Nikki" he said, and pulled me into his arms. Why the hell was he so sweet? It's so hard to hate someone when they're nice. He kissed me and I smiled.

"I love you too." I whispered back, and I meant it.


	4. Lesson four

**Lesson 4: If you're flying solo fasten your seatbelt, you're in for a bumpy ride.**

I never was one for fairy tales. They always end at the perfect place, and life keeps going. Who's to say that Cinderella loved Prince Charming until the end of days, I'm sure he had a mistress, don't all kings? Maybe she turned out like Catherine of Aragon or even worse, Anne Boelyn. But don't tell V that, I don't want her growing up jaded. I didn't have a particularly hard life, my sister is 12 years older than I am so I was practically the only child, except I had a shadow to live under. Liliane was the 'golden child' she was perfect. 4.0, head of student council, star of the track team. Really, nothing bad ever seemed to happen to her. She went to Columbia in New York and graduated magna cum laude and married a nice Chinese man named Harry and they have two beautiful sons. I was always the rebel, but my parents didn't care really, they didn't pay any attention to me only my studies. They didn't care when I came home with a nose ring, and my mom took me to get my eyebrow pierced. Sometimes I think they were buying me off. Really, up until I got pregnant I think I was just a mouth to feed for them. This weekend Jonesy is out of town, his hockey league made it to the semi finals and he's playing in Edmonton. I could have easily dropped V off at Emma's but I decided to take her to work with me, she loves it there and Chrissy adores her. I swear she would take V from me if I would let her. Violette was surprisingly good today, makes me wonder what shes up to, ha-ha. She even sold a few shirts, you have to admire the opinion of children, they never lie. I ran into Yummy Mummy, who cooed over Violette.

"I know how trying it is to be a single mother" she smiled compassionately at me, catching me off guard.

"Oh, I'm not..." I smiled back awkwardly "I'm engaged" I showed her my ring and watched her blush.

"Oh I'm sorry I thought... You see it's just..." I could see her eating her words.

"Don't worry!" I laughed, tugging Violette as she tried to sneak off. "There was a time there when I thought I was going to be! Jonesy and I went through a very rough patch last year."

"Well it's just last I saw him was last May at a bar with some redhead, I shouldn't have assumed really they weren't being naughty." Yummy Mummy smiled at me and I smiled back, although I didnt feel much like smiling. I knew who she was speaking of, her name was Austyn and she was one of those hockey groupies that hung around. "Well darling I must go! Stanley has soccer practice in a half hour. I hope to see you and your precious little girl around sometime!" I waved and watched her walk off, her bratty son in tow.

Later that night I made dinner, which I hardly ever did. Jonesy and I lived on TV dinners and macaroni and cheese. Even V had baby TV dinners, it's a shock she isn't a chubbster. I guess I figured I never get a family dinner or alone time with my daughter. I didn't run today and I felt a little guilty, but I suppose that's okay. We postponed the wedding, telling the chapel and the place we reservered for the reception we'd make it for a later date. We didn't want to lose our deposit, well my parents deposit anyway. The awkward part was calling the guests and explaining. I hated it. But you do what you have to do to get by I guess. Jonesy called during dinner to talk to Violette, and she ran off with the phone to talk to him in 'private.' That kid, she's a trip. Once they were done she brought the phone back to me.

"Here!" she huffed

"Hey Jonesy"

"Hey babe, miss me?"

"Hah you're never gone long enough" I laughed, then continued "I cooked tonight, you missed it. What did you and V talk about, she ran off with the phone. I'm starting to think you two are in cahoots against me." I ruffled V's hair as I said that and she screamed and ran away. Like I said, kid's a trip.

"Yeah we're co-conspirators, I'll never tell!" Jonesy laughed "The big game is tomorrow, and if we win we have a home game next weekend, okay?"

"Yeah okay. Sure. Good luck, I love you."

"I love you too hon, see you Monday. Remember you have to pick me up from the airport at 1."

"Of course. Bye."

"Bye."

Violette came back and finished her dinner, then I chased her aound the house for awhile trying to get her to take a bath, finally resorting to dragging her in the bathroom kicking and screaming. Thank God for small favors though, she went right to bed when I put her down.

When the fuck did life get so mundane? I turned on the wii and decided to take my run in the living room while watching E!

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_A/N: Sorry this chapter is kind of boring, but no one said raising a toddler was fun ;]_


	5. Lesson five

**Lesson 5: You learn how to empty your child's leftovers… into your mouth over the garbage disposal.**

I picked Jonesy up today at the airport. When we got home him and V watched Wonder Pets, her favorite annoying kids show of the month, and I made ravioli, you know, the kind in a can. After dinner I was clearing V's plate (into my mouth over the sink) while she and Jonesy were coloring in some dumb Disney coloring book and I dropped another bomb on him.

"Jonesy I need to ask you something…" was how I started it. I was looking at him through my peripheral vision, and he looked up at me with raised eyebrows.

"Yes dear?"

"Um, you know when we were in our rut last year? Did you… you know… you know… with anyone else." I added emphasis on the last you know, last thing I needed was Violette running around shouting 'SEX!' Jonesy looked shocked.

"Honestly?" he asked me.

"Yes I need to know. I really won't be too mad, I'll only be a little mad but I need to know, to be safe…"

"No, I never 'did it'" in air quotes "with another girl ever in my life. I kissed a couple of girls then but it wasn't serious and you should know that." I was finished 'cleaning' her plate and turned around to look at him, with my hands resting behind me on the kitchen counter. I must've looked pissed, although I wasn't, I was just in deep thought, because after a few seconds he asked me "Still friends, doc?" to which I smiled.

"Yeah of course, I was just thinking. It's not a big deal." I went over and kissed him on the cheek, and watched Violette scowl at me. "What?" I asked her. She just continued to scowl. Big brat. But at least that cleared one thing up.


	6. Lesson six

**Lesson 6: You lose friends after you have a baby.**

I suppose it's not fair to drop that one on Violette, but once she was born I just didn't have the time. Then we graduated and Jen and Wyatt went away to college, Caitlin went to the fashion design trade school here in Toronto and is pretty busy with fashion shows. Jude is still around, sometimes I think him and Jonesy are gay lovers ha-ha. I was looking through all my old journal entries from before I got pregnant and I was instantly hit with nostalgia. I mean, remember the time Caitlin got me a spray on tan and I only had half of my body done? And the time Jonesy 'sharted' while farting after eating all those taco's trying to get Jude to see some farts on the infrared goggles. And the boys pranking Ron all those times. I was rolling on the floor after reading back and wondered what happened, then Violette came and started kicking things in my room and I soon remembered… I had a baby. And once you have a baby you have no social life. I think I'm luckier than most though, my friends, with the exception of Caitlin, have been around for 15 years, and Jen ADORES Violette. Even though she's away at some fancy college on the snowboarding team living her dream she sends over something for Violette and Kylie every month. And before Wyatt left, he wrote a song about her and recorded it. We play it for her every night, she says she wants to hear 'her muzik.'

After reading my old diaries I went to talk to Jonesy, since he knows better than to bother me while I'm writing.

"Jonesy, what the fuck happened to us?" I could tell I caught him off guard, because he looked at me like I had just told him the sky was falling.

"What do you mean, Nik?" He asked me, obviously perplexed.

"I mean, us, like, all of us, me, you, Jen, Wyatt, Jude and Caitlin…" Jonesy's eyes got really wide and then he started laughing like I told him the funniest thing ever. "What! I'm being serious!"

"Nikki, darling, we grew up. All of us grew up, and once you're a grown up you have to sacrifice a lot of things." He got up from his recliner and put his arms around me "I know it sucks sometimes, but we had a baby. Trust me, I wake up with her at 7 am every morning, I know it's exhausting, but we do it because we don't have a choice." Sometimes I hated this newer, more mature Jonesy.

"Yeah I'm just nostalgic I guess. I miss the way things were you know? I mean I love Violette she's a little delight when she isn't driving me crazy…" I got cut off there.

"Driving YOU crazy? Oh babe, you try staying at home with her all day! She's a little brat! But I love her and it's what I have to do." Yeah, I definitely hated this new mature Jonesy.

"I love you…" I laughed. It's so weird, he always knows just what to say to drive me crazy and yet keep me madly in love with him at the same time.

"You okay now babe?" he kissed my forehead and I squeezed him tighter.

"No, but I think someday I will be" I laughed into his shoulder.

Of course, you have to understand that Jonesy needs me to keep him level, but I need him much more. It's always been that way, ever since I can remember.


	7. Lesson seven

**Lesson 7: Your sex life will never be the same.**

Jonesy and I always had a very healthy sex life. The first time was sometime after the snow dance, I honestly think a little after I had the 'incident' in his bathroom. We didn't have a 'real' reason other than curiosity (plus we loved each other but we were both too proud to admit it at the time) and I had prepared myself for the most awkward moment of my life, but it wasn't at all. Jonesy seemed to know my body better than I did, he did everything right. Even now I can vividly remember that night:

There was a knock at my window at around 11:30 pm on a Saturday and I was up looking over my physics notes.

"Jonesy… what…" but before I could say anything he put his hand over my mouth and crawled through the window.

"Are your parents up?" he whispered.

"Um I'm pretty sure… on the weekends they stay up late because they think they are 'so hip'" I laughed, but Jonesy put his hand back over my mouth and shut the window.

"Go check, and then tell them you're calling it a night" and I immediately knew what his angle was. We had brought it up a few times before, mostly if we were watching a movie with a sex scene and we had to awkwardly sit through it.

"Jonesy are you serious! You come here just to have sex?" I yelled in a whisper. Jonesy's face was priceless.

"No! I came here to give you this!" He whisper-yelled back, and pulled a box out of his back pack. It was a beautiful bracelet, gold with what looked like diamonds, although they could have been cubic zirconium, I didn't ask. I was speechless, and also feeling like a jackass.

"Oh I'm sorry… I guess I spoiled the moment?" I smiled shyly.

"Yeah jerk." He scowled at me "now I guess I have to go."

"No! No I'm going to tell my parents I'm off to bed" I smiled at him, and kissed him before I slipped out of the room. When I came back he was sitting on my bed. I turned off the light and waited for my eyes to adjust, then pounced on him. I'll spare you the details, but we ended up having sex, and then spooning for a good hour until he snuck back out and went home. We were both changed from then on, as cliché as it sounds. That Monday I went down to the clinic and got on the patch. We had sex like rabbits after that, every chance we could we did.

Then I got pregnant, and everything changed. At first it was normal, but after Jonesy heard the heartbeat and saw her on the little ultrasound he didn't want to have sex at all, because he was afraid he would hurt her. It was an irrational fear of his. And after she was born we never got back into the groove of things, mostly because it's hard once you have a child to care for. You get tired easier, and more often than not she would start crying halfway through if we did try and spoil the mood for us. But really, we have no business doing it anyway, even though I have the paraguard IUD, top ten things I'm not ready for is another kid.

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_Authors Note: Sorry to my faithful readers, especially you charmedfan411, but I seem to be running out of steam! thats why i made 3 chapters in a row so i didnt lose interest. i also edited chapters 2 and 4 so reread them! pretty please review so i can regain my mojo :]_


	8. Lesson eight

**Lesson 8: "You don't have the luxury of figuring out who you are, you're a mother now"**

Okay, so that was a quote from King of the Hill, sue me. But really, it's true. My major at University of Toronto is journalism, but it can't be my focus. Violette has to be my focus, and therefore my life isn't really my own. Does that make sense? I mean, do you ever feel like you aren't in the drivers seat, you're the passenger and you're just along for the ride and everything else is staged around you? I feel like that every day of my life. Like… my life is a dream and one day I'm going to wake up and say 'thank God that didn't really happen' isn't that awful?

Speaking of dreams, I had one this morning that I went to the gynecologists office and they did an ultrasound on me and I was like 4 months pregnant and in my dream I kept saying 'No! No! No!' then I woke up and ran to Jonesy.

"Wait, you went just now and they told you that?" I love him, but sometimes he's not too bright. Okay okay he was distracted, but let me feel smart.

"Yes Jonesy, I just got back from the gyno right now and they told me that I'm 4 months pregnant. No dummie I told you it was a nightmare!" I waved my arms wildly, as if trying to emphasize the point.

"Oh, yeah. Such a nightmare having another one of my perfect babies" he winked at me. He and V were watching Oswald, one of the few baby shows I actually liked. She was babbling something about Weenie, Oswald's dog. I couldn't understand what she was saying really, but Jonesy either did or pretended to, because he was laughing with her.

"Violette got all the perfect genes from me and the annoying ones from you. Like her puppy dog eyes and that pout! She's going to be dangerous when she gets older!" Violette really was beautiful, but then again I'm biased.

"You think I haven't thought of that! I'm going to need a very big shot gun to keep all the boys off!"

"Yeah, you mean keep her away from perverts like you" I laughed, and he rolled his eyes at me.

I'm a mother now though, it's who I am. I'm not Nikki the student anymore, I'm Nikki the mother and part time student, although I am going full time. I have to say I love college, it's amazing. To keep my scholarship I need a 3.5 cumulative GPA every semester, and even with a baby I always get straight A's. I suppose I have to prove my mother wrong, that I can be a somebody even if I had a baby at 17. Speaking of my mom I had an 'amazing' conversation with her the other day.

I called her. "Hey mom!"

"Hey Nikki! How's my granddaughter?

"V's great! But guess what! I was the top of the curve on my midterm in my News and the Media II class, I am a total shoe in for this internship!"

"Oh I'm sure it wasn't that hard. I mean if you can be the top of the curve with a baby the other people in your class must be slackers."

"Um I studied my butt off for this midterm mom…" I was hurt, but I should have been used to it, if it's not one thing its another. I swear I could be the president and my parents would be like 'oh a kindergardner could do that.'

"Oh I'm sure you did! Remember to bring Violette over this Sunday, we're going to get pictures taken with Liliane and her sons and we want our only granddaughter to be there!"

"And I wasn't invited because?" I was hurt again, and decided that my daughter wasn't going to be in any 'family pictures' without me.

"You need to study!" my mom shouted in her dumb accent.

"Okay if I'm not in those pictures neither is Violette. So you make your choice." It was a bold move against my mother, but I had had it up to here with them and their condescending ways.

"Okay whatever Nikki you can come too. Don't have a cow." I hated it when my mother tried to be hip.

"Okay well I will see you on Sunday. I'm assuming at the Picture Place at the Galleria?" I asked intently.

"Yes be there at 11 am and be dressed up! Make sure Violette is wearing that cute jump suit we bought her!"

"Okay mom, see you there." I sighed.

"See you Nikki!" and she hung up. And tomorrow is the 'big day.' I'm not sure if I should bring Jonesy along since they didn't say if Harry was going to be there or not but I suppose it is better to be safe than sorry. I'm already living my life day by day as it is, I don't need to complicate myself with tomorrow.

* * *

_A/N: Okay real talk, this is how I feel every day of my life, like I'm a passanger in a moving car and life is being staged around me. And also, my parents are not supportive of me. This whole story is drawn from MY real life experiences from being a mother. ;]_


	9. lesson nine

**Lesson 9: Being a mother is the birth of unsolicited advice**

If you thought being pregnant was a drag with people trying to give you advice, when you have the baby it's way worse, except now no one is touching my stomach. Maybe though it's because I'm young, people think I don't know what I'm doing. I don't really, but I'm positive no one does with their first child. Humor me if I'm wrong. So really though, one day I was at the grocery store and I was buying formula, and:

"Aw how old is your daughter?" A lady who looked to be in her mid-30's, with a little boy sitting in the seat of the shopping cart said, smiling.

"She's 3 months" I smiled, and lifted the pink blanket covering her pink car seat in the shopping cart.

"And you aren't breast feeding her!" The lady looked at me, and I looked back in shock that someone would actually be so bold as to say that. "My son is a year old and I'm still breastfeeding him!" I was still in shock.

"I breast fed her until I had to go back to school…" I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Ohhh you're still in high school…" she gave me a look like I was some kind of promiscuous idiot and walked away. And that was the first time I went out since she was born!

Then there was the time I was standing around at work, minding my own business, and Jonesy brought her by just to get out of the house and to show the clones, since at that point they had never seen her, she was about 5 months at the time. Jonesy was with her most of the day but as soon as I pick her up to show the clones"

"Oh isn't that the most adorable baby you have ever seen!" One of the older mall walkers asked her husband, and he looked at her uninterested. She continued, turning to me "I begged my son for grandchildren for years, but his wife is infertile, and now they're too old" she whispered to me.

"I'm sorry" I smiled uneasily, not sure what else to say. I looked at Jonesy to help me, but he pretended to be busy.

"Oh isn't she adorable! You know in my day, raising children wasn't as difficult! We didn't have fancy car seats or anything to baby proof with! No bottle warmers or breast pumps AND WE SLEPT KIDS ON THEIR STOMACHS!" I could tell this lady had looked into how to raise a child in the here and now.

"Um…. Yeah!" I was still looking for Jonesy to help me, but no luck there. Finally, Chrissy called me to the back room, sometimes she was a good person. Sometimes.

Of course, when Jonesy is with her no one comes up to him, or so he says. There is such a double standard when it comes to young parents. If a guy sticks around to be with his child, he's automatically a good dad, but if a mother sticks around she's just doing what she has to do. I was forced to take her to the college library with me once last semester, you should have seen the stares I got. Or rather, the people trying not to stare but really they were when they think I couldn't see. I was unfortunate enough to run into my English prof, and he looked at me like I was a new specie of human.

"Oh Nikki! Wow is she yours!" He looked at me in awe.

"Yeah, her name is Violette, she's 16 months" I smiled at him.

"Oh Nikki she is beautiful! Do your parents watch her a lot? I mean, I'm sure it's hard to handle being as great of a student as you are and also raise a child!" I know he meant well, but really that one hurt.

"Um, no my boyfriend, her father, watches her. Sometimes his step mom but mostly him." Violette was in her stroller looking up at him, smiling.

"Oh! That is great! That is wonderful! Well good luck, I hope you find what you're looking for and keep up the good work, you're one of my best students!" I thanked him, and rolled my eyes when he walked away. If I didn't know men I would think he was a jerk.


	10. Lesson ten

**Lesson 10: You will never be short of laughs.**

V is a funny, funny gal. I mean, really, she's a hoot. She never likes to wear clothes, and runs around in only a diaper, gets into the pantry and pours all the flour all over the kitchen floor, and when it's bath time, forget it, you'll exhaust yourself before you catch her. Good thing I'm a runner, right? No, but really, sometimes I feel like my life is a satire on the way parenthood is 'supposed' to be, but then again, I'm 19 years old with a 20 month daughter, I don't think I know how it's 'supposed' to be myself.

Anyway, my sister called me today, trying to sound so concerned.

"Hey Nikki! How's my little sister doing?"

"Um I'm great…" Lilian never called me, we hardly even talked except when she came home for the holidays or whatever. This was more than a little weird.

"Yeah? That's great, how's Jonesy?"

"He's good, at hockey practice right now…" I really wanted to know what she was getting at so I could get off the phone already.

"Are you two okay? Mom told me that the wedding was off and I was just wondering if everything was fine. I mean, I know we aren't super close, but now I have a beautiful niece to think of." Gee Lily, thanks for your concern…

"No, we're fine, I'm just not ready to get married yet is all."

"Well you do realize you have a child with him, right?" I wanted to smack the self-righteous tone right out of her stupid mouth.

"Oh gee is that what I grew in my uterus for ten months?"

"God Nikki why are you always so defensive? I'm just trying to say that…"

Then a big crash came from the bedroom, and I ran in to see V laughing. She knocked the big stereo down from the dresser and was just looking at it. Thank God she was okay, there really is a separate God for children.

"Lily I have to go, Violette is being naughty…" then I hung up the phone and hugged my daughter. "You're a bad girl you know that right?" I asked her.

"NO!" She shouted at me and ran off, wanting me to chase her.

"I'm going to get you, brat, and when I do you're getting spankings!" I shouted after her, laughing. Nope, there's never a dull moment in this house, that's for sure.

* * *

_Authors Note: Sorry I've been MIA! Summer classes started and things around here are hectic! So I put up every single 6teen fanfic I've ever written or pretended to write, even if they suck :]_


	11. Lesson eleven

Lesson eleven: Time alone with friends is a life saver.

Jen was home for the weekend, Emma took V for the day, and Jonesy was off goofing around with the guys. For a second it was almost like old times. Almost.

"So, what's up?" Jen asked, while they were sitting on the couch.

"Nothing, what's up with you? How's school?"

"No, really, I mean… how are you? My mom said you've been really closed off lately since you called off the wedding. Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine… It's just… the pressure, it was killing me. This isn't me Jen…" I sighed.

"Yeah I can't even imagine what you've been through, or are even going through…"

"Yeah and what's messed up is that I'm lucky! Jonesy stayed and your mom is great for support! If it wasn't for your mom I don't know what I would have done! I don't even want to think about it. Can't I just enjoy my day off from poopy diapers and screaming babies?" Sometimes I just had to laugh.

"Sure thing! I brought the ultimate girls night in snacks! Little Betty's and hoho's!" Jen laughed, pulling the snacks out of her overnight bag.

"Oh wow!" Mmmmmm fattening food!

"Have you talked to Cait?"

"No, not really. I see her every so often but once you have a baby you become a leper." It's true.

"Stop it." Jen slapped her hand

"No, but really I haven't really talked to anyone. Between school and work and being a mom and Jonesy's stupid hockey league life is a blur!"

"I feel you, I'm taking a full course load, working, and on the snowboarding team! It's hectic!"

"Dude, some days I just want to curl up in bed and sleep all day!"

"Here here!" Jen smiled, toasting me with her Little Betty cake.

"Okay so lets watch a totally girly movie. What about Legally Bland?"

"Ugh… no." Jen shook her head.

"Okay… How to Lose Your Boyfriend in Ten Days?" I tried.

"Do you have… My Best Friend's Getting Married?" Jen sat up with stars in her eyes.

"Um duh! That is a classic! No babies, no boys, just a day in with my bestie…"

"Ain't life grand!" Jen retorted, and the movie played.


	12. Lesson twelve

Lesson twelve: Some stories can end up happily ever after, if you let it.

Jonesy decided that it would be so romantic to take me to the park and leave Violette with his step mom. That woman was amazing.

"Can you believe in two weeks we're going to have a two year old?" Jonesy asked me. No, I couldn't, but I'm still coping with the fact that I have a kid at all.

"Oh man don't remind me…" Thank God Jen decided to arrange everything for me, since its what she was good at. Sometimes a Type A personality comes in handy!

"Nik…" Jonesy whispered, and I was gone. Sometimes I think it's crazy that after all we've been through, Jonesy still makes me swoon.

"Y-yeah?" Great now I'm stuttering.

"Let's get married. Tomorrow, nothing fancy, just a couple of schmoe's at the courthouse in jeans. I know you don't want a big fairy tale wedding, and I just want you."

"Jonesy…" his proposal was sooooo tempting, and yet I couldn't get over my fear of being Catherine of Aragon.

"Nikki what are you afraid of!" Truth was, I didn't even know.

"Okay…" I nodded, a little surprised by my own words.

"Okay?" His questioning boyish charm was almost too much.

"Yeah… yeah." I nodded, at first skeptical but then positive. "But… let's not tell anyone. Just me, you, V and the judge."

"Whatever you want." And he kissed me. And to this day I still feel fireworks.

"So… after we get married, you want to try for another baby?" Jonesy laughed, and then kissed me again.

"No!" I shouted, scaring a few ducks away.

"PSYCHE!" He shouted, and at that moment I hoped things would never ever change. Of course, eventually everything changes, but let me indulge myself in fairy tales just this once. I mean, what can it hurt?


End file.
